Real Growth
This text was originally written in Korean on December 27, 2024, and has been translated into English and uploaded
I’ve got a natural streak of impatience baked into me—a drive to get stuff done fast. It’s great for pushing things forward and jumping into action, but it can tank the quality or steer me off course if I’m not careful. I’ve seen it in other founders too, whether it’s their wiring or just the grind. Could be the pressure of a shrinking runway, the ticking clock of age screaming “this is my shot,” or FOMO from watching competitors or peers zoom ahead (not just a founder thing, honestly). These feelings are legit fuel for motivation—super key—but you’ve got to figure out how to dial them back. Pile on too much impatience, and your stamina burns out quick, leaving you wiped.
First off, I need to get why I’m so antsy. A few reasons pop up. One: I’ve been gaming since I was 3 or 4. Games dish out instant rewards—play, win, repeat—so when I map that onto real life, I end up with sky-high expectations and a rush-it vibe. Even back then, I’d wonder, “Who made this game?” That curiosity led me to Nexon, NC, NHN founders, planting seeds like, “Man, starting something and building cool stuff like them would rock.” My bar for myself shot up from there.
Two: Stories of legends leaving a positive mark hit me hard. Reading about them lit a fire—someday, I want to crack a big scientific truth, craft something unforgettable, or build a game-changing product with my own hands. And I’d love a crew—team or friends—packed with folks who think the same. As a kid, the loneliness from not having that was a real gap. It pushed me to want to round up those people ASAP.
Three: I just crave freedom. No shackles—environmental, financial, whatever—so I can keep chasing what I’m after. Pretty universal human itch, right?
But why do these spark impatience—and why do they matter? Instant action and payoff, vibing with sharp folks for inspiration, freedom—it clicked: I want to keep feeling alive.
Sure, there’s the whole “face death, cherish life” angle, but like anyone, I don’t want to just drop dead out of nowhere. So, do I need to stay locked in an action-reward loop to feel alive? Surround myself with brilliant minds for constant jolts? Be free? Wrestling with that, I felt like I was losing grip on myself. These are mostly external triggers for me—stuff like, “If I tweak Disquiet this way, users will spike, I’ll meet cool people, I’ll get freer.” But those hinge on outside variables, never guaranteed, and sometimes they fell short, leaving me drained.
So, I figured I need to practice pulling these inward. Rewarding myself for action, growing nonstop to swap inspiration with past-present-future me, finding mental freedom (lately, “chill guy” memes are everywhere—haha). Nail that self-driven stuff, and the external pieces fall into place. Stay motivated without burning out, and that energy draws people in. Grow first, and sharp folks want in—then you learn together, build dope stuff, grow more, repeat. It’s a virtuous loop.
“How do I practice that?” I chewed on it more, and it shook out like this:
Don’t brush off what looks fun or piques my curiosity.
Quit forcing my nature down—own it as-is and max out the upsides.
Enjoy what I’m doing now, results aside, and figure risks aren’t even a thing.
Spot the gap between big dreams and reality clear as day, then act to close it right now.
Woke up, meditated, and these thoughts just hit—scribbled them down raw.